Love Our Children USA

Teaching kids and teens gratitude

2011-11-21T17:58:00.000-05:00

In these extraordinary times many are feeling fearful, sad, depressed, anxious, lonely and many other emotions.

Yet, it is important to remind ourselves what we are grateful for. And that’s something we should be teaching our children and teens.

Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.

Children can be taught to look for the god things in any situation and to appreciate these opportunities or circumstances in their lives.

Those small or overwhelming obstacles could be a lesson or an experience that will open the door to new and wonderful experiences.

By teaching kids and teens gratitude for the good and the bad, you will be raising healthier and happier kids and boost their self esteem.

•Set a good example

•Role play

•Keep a gratitude journal

•Introduce your kids and teens to volunteerism and reaching out to others who need help

•Show them what they should be thankful for even if they don’t have something they want

•Teach kids and teens to see the good in others regardless of whether they like them or not (this is also a good way to educate about bullying prevention)

Parents should model behavior they want their children to have. Make gratitude an everyday practice. Take steps to teach gratitude to your kids and teens and watch them grow up into wonderful adults.
Thanksgiving day is the perfect time to show gratitude. What are you grateful for?

Penn State Students Riot Over Firing of Football Coach Joe Paterno

2011-11-11T12:08:00.000-05:00

The fact that this story is being written shows us what seems to be more important in the minds of Penn State students – and it’s not the fact that innocent children have been sexually abused and the abuse was covered up. It’s all about money-making college football.

Last night thousands of Penn State students rioted after hearing about the firing of 84 year-old Penn State football coach Joe Paterno. Students screamed and chanted “We want Joe.” They threw rocks and bottles and tipped over a news van.

A 20-year-old junior from Scranton, PA and an 18 year-old freshman from Baltimore told news sources that they thought the decision was a little harsh and said they are just allegations.

Do these students not understand that it is against the law NOT to report child abuse? Are students that immune to horrific and immoral behavior against children, that they would rather see a football coach keep his job?

Do they not understand that child sexual abuse is as bad as it gets? That an adult who took advantage of young boys and took away their very foundation?

What are the parents of the rioters thinking?

There was a witness to the sexual abuse of a 10-year-old boy by coach Jerry Sandusky who told Joe Paterno about the abuse. And many more victims have come forward. Paterno did nothing. He might as well have abused the boys himself.

Paterno, Penn State President Graham Spanier and Penn State have been under great scrutiny since former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was charged last weekend with 40 counts of sexual abuse of children. I repeat 40 counts of child sexual abuse.

Sandusky was arrested last Saturday on charges that he preyed on boys he met through The Second Mile, a charity he founded for at-risk youths. Two high-ranking Penn State administrators also face charges they lied about knowledge of the crimes to a grand jury.

It’s no mistake that child sexual abusers choose careers that deal with children. The Second Mile began as group foster home to help troubled boys.

The grand jury report Read the grand jury report is startling and portrays the actions of a typical child molester.

As a child advocate for over 20 years, it is appalling enough to read the grand jury report because our weakest ones have been egregiously abused, hurt and taken advantage of. Yet to see young adults take the side of Paterno and riot over his dismissal because football is more important – because Penn State will somehow not be able to go on without Paterno leaves one shaking their head in complete disbelief and anger – because where have we as a society gone wrong with teaching our young adults values and morals?

The behavior of the rioting Penn State students needs discussion, education and awareness. The silence of Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier needs criminal investigation. And the audacious acts of Jerry Sandusky need a trial that will convict him of being the child molester he is.

As far as college football, I don’t really know much about it or care to, but I am told there is quite a bit of money to made from this sport.

We’ve been dealing with corporate greed and now it’s come down to the greed of a football coach who made millions and who kept silent for a football team and a college and allowed young boys to be sexually abused.

What does that say about our society and how can we explain this to our child victims?

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer

Love Our Children USA

Parents Selling Their Children – Sexual Exploitation of Minors

2011-07-01T12:02:00.001-04:00

By Guest Blogger Christopher Burgess

There are days when you read a piece in the news and shake your head in disbelief. That was the case yesterday when I read of a couple (Anthony Wayne Hart, 47 and his wife Kathy Lee Hart, 43) indicted in Madison County, Virginia on charges of “human trafficking” of their daughters. The grand jury indictment read, “arranging for their 13 and 14-year-old daughters to provide companionship and affection to male individuals in exchange for money and goods …” The incidents took place between 10 October 2009 and 24 February 2011.

While the fact that any parent would do this to their minor children is and of itself disgusting, the true disappointment was in the realization that this was totally avoidable and the children could have been protected from their parents who had demonstrated their lack of ability to parent some nine years prior. You see, in 2002, that same couple had been arrested and indicted for attempting to sell a three-month old daughter for adoption. Anthony Wayne Hart entered into a plea agreement and was sentenced to two-years in prison. The charges against Kathy Lee Hart were dismissed, she had been found incompetent to stand trial.

This begs the question. How is it possible that these two individuals still had custody of their children, some nine years following their arrest and conviction for attempting to sell one of their children?

The charges facing the Hart’s carry up to 20 years in prison. The children are in foster care and will not be returned to their parents.

Visit http://t.co/yzV4QHT to read more by Christopher Burgess

School Cover Up: Injustice to a Little Girl in Naples, Fl

2011-06-05T19:56:00.000-04:00

Recently, I wrote an article about Steven Noyes, a teacher in Naples, Florida who has been accused of inappropriately touching his former 9 year-old female student Jane Doe. (See blog post May 21st.)

Why former?

The school expelled little Jane Doe. The teacher has refused to cooperate with police and has returned to teaching at the private Christian Village School in Naples, Fl. which is affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church,

Not only does Noyes refuse to cooperate with police, but he has recently been seen hugging children in school and holding hands with students. Odd that should happen especially when the parents reported the abuse to Ginger Sauter, the school’s principal, and she told the parents “this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”

It’s bad enough that Noyes has been accused of inappropriately touching a child, but why is he holding hands with a student? Why is he hugging students?

The injustice to Jane Doe is unfair. She has not only been violated but she has been forced to go to a new school, make new friends and leave everything behind because of a teacher’s indiscretions and a school’s incompetence to handle the situation properly.

As reported earlier, the teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child molester.

And holding hands and hugging little children is beyond their realm of “wrong.”

We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.

This case should serve as a wake-up call to all parents. Never say “It won’t happen to my kid” because it happened to Jane Doe who comes from a lovely Christian family with parents who entrusted the care and well-being to this school – to this teacher.

Jane Doe deserves justice! Her claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.

Steven Noyes lived and taught in Harrington, Maine and moved Naples, Fl where he teaches at the Christian Village School.

Why is the teacher being protected by the school when it’s Jane Doe who should be protected?

Teacher child abuse happens in every state, but never has a student been told to leave school for telling the truth.
If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873

If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999

Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453

Please help Jane Doe get the justice she deserves.

Teacher Accused of Molesting Student: Cover Up

2011-05-21T18:46:00.001-04:00

When we send our children to school, we expect that the school, its principal, teachers and its faculty are going to protect our children.

Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.

It never enters into our minds that a “beloved” teacher would touch our children inappropriately or have sex with them.

The sad reality is that it does happen and it recently took place in Naples, Fl.

On May, 19th, Robin Sax, a California-based attorney and former sex crimes prosecutor, who is a frequent network TV commentator on high-profile legal cases and a national expert in child sexual abuse, and Jeff Herman, a nationally-recognized advocate for survivors of childhood sexual abuse filed filing of a new lawsuit against The Village School, a Naples-area private school affiliated with the North Naples United Methodist Church, for the sexual abuse of a 9 year old student at the school.

The nine year old little girl was touched inappropriately by her homeroom teacher, Steven Noyes. The police investigated the case, but when the teacher in question didn’t cooperate, they dropped the ball. The teacher was not willing to talk to police nor take a poly.

The parents are really amazing and brave. They are standing up for their little girl in the way every parent should not just by believing her but by doing everything right from the first minute until now. Obviously, they are devastated but remain strong and committed to what is right.

WHO BELIEVES JANE DOE?

A little girl comes home with a terrible secret, she’s just been touched by her favorite teacher; touched in a way she knows is wrong. What any one familiar with sexual assault will know is that this is was likely the beginning of the touching while the grooming of Jane Doe happened for months.

Jane Doe does exactly what we teach our children to do. If someone touches you inappropriately – TELL someone.

And that’s just what Jane Doe did. But what happened next has left her family hurt, angry and ready to fight for justice for this very brave little girl.

The injustice begins in a tight-knit Naples, FL community at a school dedicated to Christian values where Doe has been a student since kindergarten. She is an outgoing, kind girl, who still to this day doesn’t even get the sexual nature of a breast touch as sex, and breasts even being sexual are not even on her radar.

Her parents are the kind of people you’d want in your community, in your school, and as the support system to a traumatized kid. You want them as your friends. They are church going, softball playing, parents who take pride in their value-driven life. In fact, they chose Doe’s school because of its mission of, “educating the child’s mind, body, and spirit through Christian values in an ever-changing world.”

Since the day they told Doe’s story to the school, they’ve felt anything but Christian values.

THE INCIDENT:

Just after Christmas break Jane Doe is in her homeroom class working on her math homework and gets stumped on a long division problem and asks her teacher for help. She goes up to her teacher’s desk, and that’s when it happens.

As Doe tells her mother and father, the teacher began helping her with her first question. He put his hand under her dress and on her knee. Then, he reached his hand up her back and under her shirt, coming around the front to rub her chest. He keeps his hand there while he helps her with three other math problems.

Afterwards, Doe thanks him and returns to her seat.

THE AFTERMATH:

The parents didn’t panic, but they did want answers. They approached the head of the school and heard her say, “This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”

Then things quickly turned from bad to worse. The school expels little Jane Doe (THE MOST EGREGIOUS PART OF THIS CASE!!) The teacher, has refused to cooperate with police, has returned to his job.

PRIOR TO ANY LAWSUIT, attorneys made many attempts to simply get answers. There was no desire to sue — just a desire to make sure there was a proper police and school investigation. While the police partially did their job, the school failed this family, and Jane Doe. Attorneys tried to get information, and were told the only way to do it was to bring a case.

Thus, THE LAWSUIT:

This is the story of a father who believes, and is standing up for his little girl. It’s about a mother who wants to make sure no other child goes through the pain and suffering her daughter has. The goal in filing a suit is to get answers, to hold the school accountable, to make sure that this case is not simply swept under the rug. It is our goal to have a safe forum for people to come forward as we know that there are likely other victims out there.

Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!

The teacher is by all accounts “beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the “priests” who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child abuser.

We must seek justice for Jane Doe and her family – and for all of the other Jane and John Does who this happens to.

To believe it can’t happen to us and our children – that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being — is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual — they don’t discriminate.

Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.

Jane Doe should have justice. This never should have happened to her. She should not have been touched inappropriately by her teacher, nor should she have been told to leave school for telling the truth.

Jane Doe’s claim must be corroborated. Local news comments are aimed at discrediting her and her family.

Steven Noyes lived with his parents in Maine and taught there. Subsequently he moved to Naples, Fl where he lives alone in his parent’s apartment and teaches at the Village School.

If you see something – say something! If you know something – report it!

We must protect our children instead of protecting the people who hurt them. We must protect Jane Doe!

If you know of a case like this in Florida – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Florida (800) 962-2873

If you know of a case like this in Maine – Report it to law enforcement and call Child Protective Services in Maine (800) 452-1999

Or you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at National Hotline 1-800-422-4453

Ross Ellis
Child Advocate, Media Commentator
Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Love Our Children USA

To Spank or Not To Spank … Mom’s The Word

2011-05-04T19:01:00.000-04:00

Today Beth Feldman, Rolemommy.com and mom extraordinaire and Dr. Laurence Balter appeared on WPIX to talk about spanking.

Love Our Children USA ascribes to what they have to say.

Hear what they have to say on the show See the Video

Abusive teachers: Are our children safe at school?

2011-04-12T07:29:00.001-04:00

In the midst of National Child Abuse Prevention month teachers are in the news. Not for stellar teaching but for abusing children.

Waterville, NY: David Lemery, a physical education teacher has been accused of sexually abusing a young girl while in school
New York City: Sabrina Milo, a 34 year-old teacher was arrested for telling co-workers she planned to bring a shotgun to school and "settle some scores" in what was described as a "Columbine style" plot.
Bronx, NY: An 11-year-old Bronx girl has sued New York City, claiming that police officers overreacted last spring, handcuffing her after a fight with a third-grade classmate and denying her mother’s request to be present when they interviewed her.
Moutainview, CO: Courtney Bowles, a former teacher at Mountain View High School, got national exposure for having sex with a student in a car
Huntsville, AL: A Huntsville elementary school teacher arrested on several counts of sexual abuse against students
Mirimar, FL: teacher tapes 13 year-old student’s mouth shut for talking in class
Brevard County, FL: Group Leader at South Lake Elementary School taped a 5-year-old student to a chair with packing tape.

Child abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children!

Whether it’s sexual abuse or corporal punishment, child abuse in our schools is happening all over the country. Although the vast majority of educators and other school employees are not child abusers, the stories continue to unfold throughout our nation.

A former teacher was sitting in the audience of the popular TV talk show “The Talk” and when asked her views on corporal punishment she said she believed in hitting a student to keep them disciplined.

Corporal punishment must not be allowed.

Any sexual contact between teacher and student is a crime. Sexual abuse is a child becoming a sexual partner for an adult. Anyone under the age of 18 who is used by an adult for sexual gratification is being Sexually Abused whether or not the child consents.

Children are taught to respect and honor parental authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors, and principals and not to question their actions. We trust our schools to protect our most vulnerable … yet children are being sexually molested by the very people who are supposed to protect them. Most abusers remain undetected and free to continue their abuse of power and violation of professional ethics.

To believe it can't happen to us and our children - that no one we know would ever abuse our kids, and certainly not someone entrusted with their care or well-being --- is to live in denial. Sexual abusers tend to choose occupations that put them in close contact with children. They can be found in every profession. They are heterosexual and homosexual -- they don't discriminate.

What can we do?

Covering up abuse in schools sends a message to the abuser that it is acceptable behavior. We must report the abuser and get help for the children. School boards must send a message that they care and accept zero tolerance.

We must insist for and demand:

• Laws that mandate fingerprinting teachers and other school employees and conduct FBI checks on their criminal history

• Educate about child abuse prevention education beginning at the school board level … establishing strong, clear policies that warn teachers of inappropriate conduct, such as putting themselves in vulnerable positions where they are alone with students.

• Hold mandatory child abuse prevention training and educational seminars for all staff including teachers, bus drivers, cooks, etc. on a monthly basis. Training sessions can help educators understand their district's policy, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse, and the procedures for reporting abuse when they see it.

• School leaders must make it clear to all staff that the district is serious about investigating any hint of child sexual abuse.

• District policies must stress all employees are mandated to report any suspicion of sexual misconduct and make clear that they will be disciplined if they fail to do so

• Stricter reference and background checks. Meticulously screening of new hires. School administrators must do criminal background checks on applicants and call their former employers and associates, including some who may not be listed on their resumes. Be leery of gaps and frequent changes in an applicant's job history.

• Remove the accused teacher from contact with children, usually with a suspension, during the investigation

• Immediately notify police or community social service authorities.

• Train students about inappropriate behavior by adults and where to report it if they ever see it occur

• Organize a team of supervised peer counselors where students have a place to go

We must write to our legislators and demand Zero Tolerance.

Contact your politicians and ask for stronger laws that protect our children and for a stronger statute on mandated reporting of child abuse. All responsible citizens with knowledge of child abuse, which is a crime, should be required to report it, even if it's only suspected. Write letters, e-mail, make phone calls … take action.

It's time for America to wake-up! Knowledge is power. Learn all you can about child abuse. Educate yourself, your children, your family, your friends, neighbors --- everyone you know. We must keep our children safe!

April is National Child Abuse Prevention month.

New York child welfare workers held accountable in child’s death

2011-03-24T20:11:00.000-04:00

According to media sources, two former child welfare workers were indicted yesterday in the death of a 4 year-old Brooklyn girl who was starved, beaten and drugged.

This is the first such prosecution in city history thanks to Kings County District Attorney Charles Hynes.

If ACS caseworker Damon Adams did his job and visited Marchella Brett-Pierce in her Bedford-Stuyvesant home, she might be alive today. Instead records indicate that he did not visit the home, but did falsify records after the girl died weighing just 18 pounds. Chereece Bell, 34, the caseworker's direct supervisor, was charged with failing to monitor his work.

Yesterday Judge Patricia DiMango told news sources: "To say there was no failure here would just defy logic and common sense."

Adams and Bell pleaded not guilty to charges of criminally negligent homicide, official misconduct and endangering the welfare of a child.

Bell's bail was set at $25,000. Adams, who was charged with additional tampering and falsifying records, was ordered held on $35,000 bail.

Caseworkers first became involved with the Brett-Pierce family in November 2009 when Marchella's youngest brother was born with illegal drugs in his system.

Prosecutors said caseworker Adams was supposed to make biweekly visits to the home. He only made two entries in the agency's computer records between March and September which included a phone call with a source involved in the hospital incident and an attempt to visit the home in June. Six days afterwards Marchella died. Adams then posted bogus entries saying he visited the home in March, April, June and August, prosecutors said.

"His failure to make the visits is what ultimately led to her death," Kagan said.

The two ACS workers resigned a month after Marchella was found dead.

Prosecutor Jacqueline Kagan said "This child was wasting away. Had the ACS workers done their job, "this child would have been removed" from the home.”

Marchella's grandmother Loretta Brett, 56, was also indicted Wednesday, pleading not guilty to second-degree manslaughter.

According to prosecutors, Brett slept in the same room as the child night after night as she lay tied in her bed with no food and the grandmother never reported the suspected abuse.

The innocent 4 year-old was beaten, starved, bound to her bed and forced to take multiple doses of Benadryl and other adult medication between July and September.

She died severely malnourished on September 2nd – similar to the horrific abuse and death of Nixzmary Brown in 2006.

Marchella's mother, Carlotta Brett-Pierce, 30, was charged in November with second-degree murder and is awaiting trial.

Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes vowed to investigate whether the city agency followed recommendations it implemented after Nixzmary's death.

Hynes said: "We're going to find at long last what they're doing at ACS so there are no more children fatalities. “

Faye Moore, the head of the Social Service Employees Union, said ACS layoffs and program cuts have overburdened workers. Frankly we’ve been hearing that tired excuse for years. And it’s not just Marchella who died because of ACS failures. ACS has been linked to at least four other child abuse tragedies.

In a statement, ACS said the indictments "may have the opposite effect from what's intended because it may discourage excellent, idealistic individuals from taking" jobs as social workers.

This is not true. First … ACS doesn’t hire just social workers as caseworkers. This reporter saw an ad in the NY Times a few years ago. ACS was looking for caseworkers and the ad read that all one needed was a college degree. They did not have to be a social worker. And while shopping in Bloomingdales this reporter overheard a salesperson saying she was going for an interview to ACS. When this reporter questioned the salesperson about the interview she had just graduated from college with a degree in fine arts and had no work experience other than being a salesperson.

Kudos to District Attorney Charles Hynes for arresting these caseworkers. Our children deserve to live in happy, healthy and safe homes. If their parents are abusive and neglectful than we need a system that will protect them at all costs!

April is National Child Abuse Prevention month. Let’s start protecting our kids instead of protecting the people who are supposed to be protecting them!

Through the eyes of a bullied teen’s video saves a teen’s life

2011-02-05T18:02:00.001-05:00

I first heard about Patrick Kohlmann in 2008 on Good Morning America. After a long battle with bullies at school and online, having his life threatened, and receiving a concussion which the Udall Road Middle School in West Islip, New York never even reported to his parents, Patrick reached out in a high-tech cry for help.

Patrick Kohlmann, then 13, was afraid to go to school because the violence got so bad. He was picked on, pushed and kicked and the death threats were abundant.

He was so upset and frightened that he told his parents and the school. After numerous complaints by Patrick and his parents to the school, they did little if anything to stop the violence.

So Patrick, created a seven minute montage video urging kids and teens to stop bullying! He posted it on YouTube attracting more than 15,000 viewers.

He even asked his school to show it to students there, but they responded to Patrick’s complaints in their own defense in a six page written document and sent letters to the homes of all of their students in their Long Island district.

That very day STOMP Out Bullying contacted Patrick’s mom and spoke with her to see if we could help. Ultimately the family moved to South Carolina and Patrick is thriving, happy and has become one of our Teen Ambassadors.

Fast forward to a few nights ago, Thursday night, February 3rd when Patrick called me and could barely speak.

His mother received a call from a woman on the West Coast who wanted to thank Patrick for saving her tween daughter’s life.

Patrick’s mom was a bit confused as Patrick was sitting right in front of her. The woman explained that hours before her daughter came to her telling her that she had a noose hanging in her room and something made her go to “YouTube” where she found Patrick’s repost video “Through My Eyes.”

After seeing Patrick’s video she realized she wasn’t alone and that there is hope and help. Patrick’s mom recommended they contact STOMP Out Bullying™ and seek counseling for their daughter, which one can only imagine that they sought counseling immediately.

Patrick, his family and all of us were deeply stunned and grateful that this young girl is alive due to his video. And it is our hope that every kid will watch it.

And my personal message to kids and teens: when it seems so bad that you can’t go on, that there is nowhere to turn, that you can’t take the pain and torment anymore – take a deep breath – think – go to the Internet, watch Patrick’s video, contact STOMP Out Bullying™, tell someone you need help … because there is hope, there is help and there are heroes like Patrick Kohlmann!

College student tweets to end child abuse: what one person can do!

2011-01-09T16:15:00.001-05:00

Becca Jude of New Jersey is an 18 year-old college freshman at Miami University. And she’s not just any college student, she is one with passion, perseverance and commitment.

During her senior year of high school she began researching child abuse. Her research led her to fully realize what a horrific epidemic child abuse is in today’s world. She had no idea how many kids were abused and how many die all over the world. That’s when she found Love Our Children USA.

Being completely addicted to Twitter which her parents weren’t too happy about, Becca decided to create a twitter account to spread the word about how serious the issue of child abuse is and began to raise awareness. Her Twitter name is @st0pchildabuse.

Last July, Love Our Children USA received an email from Becca saying she wanted to raise money and awareness for us on Twitter.

She talked about it on her personal twitter page and spread the word. For the first few days she tweeted facts and statistics about child abuse and put up links to Love Our Children USA’s Website. After two days, she realized that there was more that she could do, because just tweeting about the problem was not enough. So she decided to donate 10 cents to Love Our Children USA for every follower that she gained until 2,500 followers, $250. Her goal of 2,500 followers seemed very far off and she didn’t know how long it would take, or if she would ever get there.

A few days later, Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie retweeted Becca’s tweet saying she wanted to follow and help spread the word. Becca was thrilled!! Thirty minutes later she gained over 250 followers. The following day Justin Beiber’s Road Manager and a member of his crew, Ryan Good retweeted Becca’s tweets. The account grew to 300 followers! Then Justin’s bodyguard followed, saying he loved the cause. If you are a Bieber fan on twitter any member of Justin’s crew noticing you is a huge deal and the fact that they noticed the account meant a lot to Becca and to Love Our Children USA!

Suddenly the rapper Lil Twist followed. After that the followers just kept increasing and Becca was thrilled that people were supporting her and telling her that what she was doing was amazing and that she was a true inspiration.

When Becca receives all of this kudos she’s not quite sure how to react. She doesn’t think she’s anyone’s hero – but she is to Love Our Children USA and many others!

How many 18-year-old’s do you know who would donate money per tweet to a charity to stop child abuse? Not many!

On September 18, 2010 Becca reached 2,500 followers and raised $250 for Love Our Children USA! That was an amazing day. She cried from happiness and shock! The icing on the cake was that the very next day Justin Bieber followed! That meant so much to Becca because she tells us she is possibly one of Justin Bieber’s biggest fans!

In addition to raising more money and awareness for Love Our Children USA, Becca’s goal is to get Justin Bieber to tweet #st0pchildabsue to spread awareness. She feels Justin’s tweets could really help to make a difference about putting an end to child abuse. Becca feels that Justin’s tweets could help make it a Trending Topic which is much needed, since so many are afraid to talk about child abuse.

Justin has thousands of supporters and raises a great deal of money for his pet charity Pencils of Promise. Becca hopes that somehow she can get him to support Love Our Children USA as well – because not only does the organization work to end violence against children, but they have an amazing signature program called STOMP Out Bullying.

Other well know people who follow Becca @st0pchildabuse are Ellen DeGeneres, Jay Sean, Mandy Rain, Boyz_II_Men, Monique Coleman, Marlon Wayans and a retweet from Boyz II Men!

To date almost 9,140 people follow Becca who donates 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.

Becca also donated to another child abuse prevention group until November 1st, and now is exclusively donating 5 cents per follower to Love Our Children USA.

In addition to looking for celebrity followers, Becca is looking for corporate sponsors to help as well.

She told us that she is so grateful for this account and this cause because it has truly changed her life.

Everyone at Love Our Children USA is so grateful to Becca. Not only is she helping to raise money and awareness, but she is a role model as to what one person can do!

There are many forms of child abuse, including bullying and cyber bullying. By educating parents, we can keep children safe from the very people who are supposed to be protecting them.

Meeting with parents in New York and all over the country, many tell me that they wish there was something they could do to help. Well, here is a college student who is doing something!

Ending child abuse begins with you! It begins with all of us!

Just look at what Becca is doing! Kudos and gratitude to Becca Jude!

NOT MY KID: My kid would never bully anyone

2010-12-18T16:36:00.000-05:00

How many times have parents been approached by other parents because their kids and teens are being bullied only to hear parents loudly proclaim “NOT MY KID.”

How many times have you blamed your child’s friend or a neighbor for negative behavior of your child? It is not MY kid, it is the friends he/she is hanging with. MY kid would never bully anyone. I taught them better than that, they are too smart for that. But are they smart enough, kind enough, respectful and compassionate for others?

Think about it. The faster you remove yourself from the “NOT MY KID” excuse, the sooner you can work on getting your child the help he/she may need.

Parents should not only look at their kids’ behavior, but as a role model what message do you send to your kids and teens? Do your kids model your behavior? Are you continuing the cycle of what you were taught as a kid?

ENOUGH with the excuse of NOT MY KID! Parents must take responsibility for their child’s behavior!

So, if your child’s school calls you and tells you that your child is bullying other kids, if other parents are complaining to you that your child is bullying their child, or if you notice that your child is constantly getting into fights … take a deep breath and admit that your child has a problem.

Drop the stance of denial or feeling that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help.

Parents may think there is no problem – that it’s just a little teasing, or that it’s natural for kids to fight with one another. Take all accusations of bullying seriously. What may seem natural to you may be harming others a great deal.

Sit down and have a conversation with your kid. Tell them that the school or other parents have reported their aggressive behavior, that you love them no matter what, that their behavior has to change and that you support the school’s punishment and will not tolerate this behavior.

Explain that bullying, whether it’s physical or verbal, causes pain to others. Let them know that name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, starting or spreading rumors are wrong and not acceptable behavior.

Let your child know that you will help them to change the behavior and correct the situation. Ask them how they think the bullying could stop. What do they think has to change in order for them to change?

Depending on the age of the child, they may not know any better. Young children, especially, need to be told that hurting another child is not acceptable.

After you have thoroughly discussed this with your child, meet with their teacher. Listen to the teacher’s perspective without being judgmental.

Let the teacher know that you are willing to work with the school to help stop your child from bullying. It’s important to tell the teacher if there are any family problems that you might be experiencing.

Additional counseling may be needed for your child. It will help them learn to behave differently, accept responsibility for their actions and teach them how to develop guilt, as well as learn how to form cohesive relationships.

Parents need to understand that ignoring these signs or blaming it on others is not going to help your child. You need to seek help so it doesn’t escalate to anything worse. A parent in denial is not helping their kids, it is actually harming them.

There isn’t any shame in having a kid that is who is a bully, the only shame is if you don’t get your kids help!

Three Bully Suicides In One Week: It Has To STOP

2010-11-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

November 4 -11th:

16-year-old Cassidy Joy Andel Cooperstown, N.D. posted a good-bye note on her Facebook Page and hung herself, 14 year-old Samantha Kelly of New Boston, Michigan hung herself and 14-year-old Brandon Bitner of Middleburg, Pennsylvania committed suicide by running into the path of a tractor trailer – all of them tormented by bullying!

This is more than a wake-up call. This is a national crisis and if we don’t do something to educate kids, parents and schools and get everyone working together, I am afraid of what we will see in the next 5-10 years. Our future is disappearing before us because kids and teens are bullying others.

Parents – talk to your kids – everyday. Enough with the “Not My Kid” attitude! Take responsibility and teach your children morals and ethics. I’d rather know my kid was a bully and I could get him /her help to stop it, than hide my head in the sand and live in denial.

And — recognize the signs of bullying and cyberbullying so you can help your child if they are victims. Don’t wait for them to come to you!

Schools – Wake Up! I’m tired of hearing from teachers who say they don’t want to be policemen. It may not be what you signed up for but it’s a different world today! We are living in the wild west frontier with the Internet and kids are getting bolder and more aggressive. So yes teachers and principals, it’s your responsibility to educate our youth about bullying and cyberbullying even if you have to police them!

It really does take a village and for those who think our youth are not in crisis mode – think again!

The bullying and cyberbullying MUST stop!

Parents MUST do better parenting!

Anti-bullying and cyberbullying Education MUST be a priority!

Bullycides MUST STOP!

If you’re being bullied, we know how awful the pain is, but taking your life is NOT the answer!

If you know someone who is being bullied, be an UPSTANDER and help them!

If you’re a bully, ASK FOR HELP. What you’re doing is bad enough, but the reality is you could be responsible for someone taking their life? Can you really live with that? Think about it!

Call STOMP Out Bullying at 888-347-KIDS (5437) for help, call someone, call anyone. There is so much help out there for victims and we’re all here to help the victims get help and to save their lives and we’re here to get help for the bullies so this insanity STOPS once and for all.

Bullying can kill – Kindness goes a long way and feels really good!

Develop a plan for help with the person. If you cannot develop a plan and a suicide attempt is imminent call “911.”

There is help!

Talk to a trusted adult!

Or contact any of these organizations who can and will help you!

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Yellow Ribbon 303-429-3530

Boystown Hotline 1-800-448-3000

Covenant House Nineline 1-800-999-9999

The Trevor Helpline 866-488-7386

If you or someone you know is on the verge of suicide PLEASE call 911 immediately so you can get help!

Life may not feel so great right now, but there is hope!

STAY ALIVE!

SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE!
Ross Ellis
Founder and CEO
Love Our Children USA (http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/ )and STOMP Out Bullying (http://www.stompoutbullying.org/)

“Battling Bullies” WABC TV Special With Guest Ross Ellis, Love Our Children USA

2010-11-11T13:13:00.001-05:00

Ross Ellis, founder and chief executive officer of Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying was a special guest on the show and chatted with viewers on line offering help and hope. Watch the Video!WABC TV ”Battling Bullies” with guest Ross Ellis

Another teen suicide: Teen bullied because of learning disability

2010-10-30T12:39:00.000-04:00

Seventeen year old Jesse Buchsbaum from Boyertown, PA hanged himself Monday night.

His friends have told his family that the quiet shy teen may have been bullied recently.

The grieving family fears that triggered the suicide and is sure that Jessie had been constantly bullied as a result of him being little, and having a speech impediment and learning disability.

His mother told news sources that there was an incident back in junior high school and most recently an incident involving kids hanging outside a local McDonalds, laughing and pointing at Jesse.

Although little research has been conducted on the relation between learning disabilities (LD) and bullying, research indicates that children with LD are at greater risk of being teased and physically bullied.

Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are more likely than other children to be bullied. They also are somewhat more likely than others to bully their peers.

Children with medical conditions that affect their appearance (e.g., cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, and spina bifida) are more likely to be victimized by peers. Frequently, these children report being called names related to their disability

Obesity also may place children at higher risk of being bullied. In a study of children aged 11–16, researchers found that overweight and obese girls (aged 11–16) and boys (aged 11–12) were more likely than normal-weight peers to be teased or to be made fun of and to experience relational bullying (e.g., to be socially excluded). Overweight and obese girls were also more likely to be physically bullied.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

National Cyber Safety Month Awareness Month – October, 2010 - National Cyber Safety | Examiner.com

2010-10-02T18:11:00.000-04:00

National Cyber Safety Month Awareness Month – October, 2010 - National Cyber Safety Examiner.com

October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month and it’s important for you and your family to be cyber smart and cyber safe!

Learn how to keep your children safe on the Internet. So many parents say "my child would never meet anyone from the Internet" ....yet the reality is that so many kids are looking for something more ... someone more ... more love ... more attention ... and when a stranger tells them how wonderful they are and how happy they can make them ... don't be fooled! Your kids will believe them.

Love Our Children USA offers you internet safety facts … Advice for parents and childcare givers to help keep your children surf serious, surf smart and surf safe

Here you will find information on parental control software, keeping kids from visiting inappropriate websites and ensuring their use of appropriate monitored chatrooms. You can also learn about cyber bullying which is serious and on the rise!

You will also find information which will help keep you cyber safe. The more cybersafe parents are, the safer their children will be online.

Read more of the article here

Parents of bullied kids: Should they be adult bullies in defense of their kids?

2010-09-19T15:25:00.000-04:00

James Jones, a furious Florida dad stormed onto his child’s school bus because his 13-year-old daughter who suffers from cerebral palsy had been bullied.

It’s normal for a parent to be upset about their children being bullied. And no one can ever fault this dad for being upset. His poor child was being tormented by boys on the bus.

Yet, this dad terrified innocent kids on the bus, used the “F” word and threatened to kill whoever was responsible for bullying his daughter. Death threats cannot be taken lightly no matter how upset a person is.

Does her deserve jail? NO! But, as diffifcult as it is, Mr. Jones along with other parents need to approach this issue rationally.

Yesterday, parents in New York went to a bully’s home and told the bully’s parents that their child was bullying their child. But it didn’t stop there. They threatened the bully with horrible things that would happen to him.

The bully’s parents were devastated that their child was a bully and have already taken steps to rectify the situation, but to have their child threatened by adults was taking it too far.

Read More Of This Article Here

Join me for BLUE SHIRT DAY!

2010-08-23T08:37:00.000-04:00

From Krysten Moore, Youth and Bullying Prevention Ambassador – Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying:

It’s that time of year again, back to school shopping is in full swing and the summer is winding down. Although things get crazy with the start of a new school year we need to focus on one important thing and that is to be considerate and respectful to everyone we encounter throughout our day.

Bullying has become an epidemic and I need your help to stop it. The first step to stopping bullying starts with you today. If you haven’t already taken the pledge to STOMP Out Bullying, I’d like to suggest you do – today and everyday.

You can even take bullying and cyberbullying awareness to the next level by participating in BLUE SHIRT DAY (Love Our Children USA’s initiative) by wearing a Blue Shirt Day on Monday, October 4th 2010. Tell your friends and family and get as many people involved as you possibly can.

I hope you will take a stand and join me by wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday October 4th as the day of worldwide prevention to Stomp Out Bullying. You can make a difference, and the way to start is by showing your support and wearing a Blue Shirt on Monday, October 4th.

Just because bullying has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it needs to exist forever so make bullying a thing of the past.

Visit http://www.stompoutbullying.org for details — and make a commitment to STOMP Out Bullying one positive word at a time.

Why BLUE SHIRT Day matters!

2010-08-22T12:40:00.000-04:00

A special message from Cati, your Teen Ambassador:

Wow- I can’t believe the new school year is upon us. It seems like yesterday was the last day and now I get to see all my friends again on the first day. I am so excited for all of the new opportunities and challenges this year will bring. Especially organizing BLUE SHIRT DAY at my school again, it was a blast! Last year was the first time I approached my principal about organizing a BLUE SHIRT DAY at my high school in San Diego. Everyone at my school was happy to participate! This year, I’m thinking BIG, that is why I am asking you to take a stand against bullying and organize your own BLUE SHIRT DAY at your school. If you have ever been bullied, witnessed someone being bullied, or have even heard about bullying, I encourage you to help stop this vicious trend and take a colorful stand on Oct 4, 2010 by simply wearing a BLUE SHIRT. It really is that simple! You have the power to take a stand, be your own hero, and help defend others who may not be able to defend themselves. I want to unite under BLUE and STOMP Out Bullying everywhere across America – around the world. So can I count on you to wear BLUE and make October 4th the day that bullying prevention is heard around the world?

Visit our sister site www.stompoutbullying.org

Visit www.stompoutbullying.org for details.

Girls or Boys? Who are the bigger bullies?

2010-08-04T17:48:00.000-04:00

We know that bullying is an ongoing problem which has reached epidemic proportions, with a distinct difference between the actions and responses of boys vs. girls.

Whenever you hear of bullies one might think of boys with their fists tightened ready to fight. We always think of girls as verbal bullies and mean girls who socially alienate and exclude others.

Today we see a rise in boys using verbal bullying, gossip and social exclusion, while we see girls who bully with a lot of it related to sports.

And with the internet, both boys and girls cyberbully at an alarming rate — and it’s anonymous, making it that much easier for kids. With 43% of kids being cyberbullied, it’s been found that girls are cyberbullied more than boys.

Whether its boys or girls bullying and/or cyberbullying, it’s out of control and clearly inappropriate.

We must STOMP Out Bullying!

Kid healthy cooking "must haves' that last in your freezer

2010-07-27T15:06:00.000-04:00

As we know the Center for Disease Control reports that childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years. The prevalence of childhood obesity among kids aged 6 to 11 years increased from 6.5% in 1980 to 19.6% in 2008. The prevalence of obesity among adolescents aged 12 to 19 years increased from 5.0% to 18.1%.

Although parents are so busy, many are finding that cooking at home with healthy foods helps in the way their kids are eating.

The idea of “fresh food” is wonderful but may not always be a reality with work and family schedules.

The next best thing is have staples in your freezer so that you can squeeze in a few homemade meals in for your family during your week.

READ MORE OF THE ENTIRE STORY HERE

Cyberbullying: Is it a cry for help or a need for attention?

2010-07-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

Jessi Slaughter, an 11-year old Florida girl whose profanity-laced video spurred online death threats after she claims she was cyberbullied on Facebook, told Good Morning America and other news sources that she has no intentions of staying off the Internet, which is also a decision backed by her parents.

Jessi's rage, graphic language and violent threats that she used against her online tormenters has everyone talking.

She told ABC News: "I'm going to continue making my videos, I'm going to continue updating my Twitter and going on Stickam and stuff -- just going to be a little more careful with who sees what I'm doing," the girl told ABCNews.com. Because she is only 11-years-old only screen name is being used.

Jessi broke down on the video which she made on her webcam. Even her father appeared on the video in an absolute rage.

She created an Internet firestorm by posting an almost five-minute video raging against online bullies who had called her names and accused a friend of raping her.

READ THE ENTIRE STORY HERE and WATCH Ross Ellis, Founder and CEO, Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying on the ABC News Nightline video in response to this story.

Kids’ restaurant meals may not be so “happy”

2010-07-22T21:08:00.000-04:00

According to the Center for Disease Control childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years. The prevalence of childhood obesity among kids aged 6 to 11 years increased from 6.5% in 1980 to 19.6% in 2008. The prevalence of obesity among adolescents aged 12 to 19 years increased from 5.0% to 18.1%.

Kids menus at restaurants aren’t so happy! Ask Mary Jo Messito, Director of the Obesity Clinic at New York’s Bellevue Hospital who told news sources that “Children’s meals at restaurants are garbage.”

READ THE ENTIRE STORY HERE

Animal abusers: a precursor to violence against humans

2010-07-17T16:09:00.000-04:00

Just last month I reported about the two LI teens who viciously tortured and killed an innocent turtle.

Now a 22-year-old Albany man admits drowning a cat in his bathtub and torturing two other cats.

According to Associated Press and CBS News, Caleb Capen faces one to four years in prison after pleading guilty Friday to felony animal cruelty. This past February he was arrested after a police officer found a dead cat burning inside paper and plastic bags in a snowbank.

Police went to Capen’s home where they found two more cats with broken bones from abuse. He told police that he had adopted a cat who didn't get along with the other cats and admitted to stepping on the cat, squeezing it, striking it with a wrench and then drowning it. He'll be sentenced in September.

According to a 1997 study done by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) and Northeastern University, animal abusers are five times more likely to commit violent crimes against people and four times more likely to commit property crimes than are individuals without a history of animal abuse.

READ MORE OF THE ENTIRE STORY HERE

The second leading cause of child deaths are from drowning: Learn water safety now

2010-07-05T13:32:00.000-04:00

Swimming is a fun activity for many children to celebrate their summer vacation.

The water can be so much fun, yet it can also be dangerous for young children. Even for kids who know how to swim, there have still been drownings.

According to the National Drowning Prevention Alliance, drowning is the second leading cause of unintentional death among children ages 1 to 4 years old and children 10 to 14 years. Children 4 and under actually have the highest drowning death rate in the U.S. and the majority of child drownings occur in backyard pools & spas.

Just this week, former NFL quarterback Randall Cunningham's 2-year-old son drowned in his parent’s pool spa in Las Vegas and last week NYC sixth grader Nicole Suriel drowned on a class trip to Long Beach. Two-year-old Joseph Anthony Daignault died on June 29th after drowning in his family’s swimming pool. Since the end of May, eight children died in pool drownings in Tennessee.

According to Dr. Mark Waltzman at the Children’s Hospital in Boston, toddlers have a difficult time keeping their top-heavy bodies balanced when sitting up and they often have a hard time getting back up after they fall, and can drown in just one inch of water.

READ MORE OF THE STORY HERE AND SEE VIDEO

Wild West 2.0 hits the nation by storm! The reality of the dangers that lurk online

2010-07-02T14:10:00.000-04:00

Your kids use the Internet, you use it, so do your family and friends.

We live in a digital frontier and it’s not going away. Our kids spend most of their time on the Internet which is a virtual playground for online bullies, cyber attackers, stalkers and predators.

You use the Internet for business, or you might be looking for a job, trying to make new friends or even find your mate online. You’d be surprised how many online dangers lurk online for adults as well.

There are moms who bully, people who want to ruin other’s reputations, stalkers and other cyber attackers.

No doubt about it -- the Internet IS your life!

While setting up Google alerts for you and your kids are a good practice, people aren’t going to check to see what “he said …she said”, and who is telling the truth.

Wild West 2.0 already in its second print has hit book shelves across the nation! And it’s a must read for every parent!

READ THE ENTIRE STORY HERE

Norton online family protects families worldwide

2010-06-26T17:52:00.001-04:00

This week Norton/Symantec announced that its award-winning online family safety service, Norton Online Family, will now be offered for free worldwide in 25 languages.

Previously available in English only, the new version of Norton Online Family is the first globally available free solution to give parents the comprehensive tools they need to not just block inappropriate websites, but truly connect with their children's online lives and foster ongoing dialogue about safe Internet behaviors. According to the Norton Online Family Report, a global study that was released today, 62 percent of kids worldwide have had a negative online experience, underscoring the need for a service like Norton Online Family that helps create positive online experiences for their kids.

READ MORE ABOUT THIS STORY

Violence By Texting. Are your teens safe?

2010-06-24T19:39:00.000-04:00

“Textual Harassment” is a newer aspect of dating violence and it’s growing out of control.

Constant texts asking “Where r u?” Who r u with? Why aren’t u answering me? …are just a ping away on cell phones. And those pings can amount to hundreds per day.

A17-year-old New York girl was trying to break up with her boyfriend. Yet the texts she received were not only menacing but in one text he threatened to kill her.

A 22-year-old Virginia woman received 20 to 30 unrelentless texts a day wanting her back. Not taking no for an answer he texted and called 758 times.

For those digital pros, “Textual Harassment” is a big part of domestic violence and it’s gotten out of hand.

The victim will feel compelled to respond to the messages. Textual Harassers are obsessive and can text more than 100 times a day.

READ MORE OF THE STORY HERE

Gov Paterson pushes anti-bully hotline for schools one day after news reports a kid who was bullied

2010-06-20T19:24:00.000-04:00

Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and 42% of kids have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get.

New York does not have anti-bullying legislation – but maybe they will as a last hurrah for Governor David Paterson.

A day after the Daily News wrote about a teen being routinely harassed at his school, Governor Paterson announced he had submitted a bill to assist kids in trouble. Perhaps he wasn’t aware of all of the other kids in New York who have been harassed at school since he’s been in office … but we’re glad he’s finally taking notice.

The legislation which is way overdue, would require every school to post the state's school violence hotline so that students could have quick access to services.

Read more of the story here

Mayor Bloomberg encourages NY fathers to be more active in their kids’ lives

2010-06-19T12:41:00.002-04:00

Kudos to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg as he told news sources about his plans to hire a fatherhood-services coordinator as part of an initiative to encourage dads to be more active in their children's lives.

As reported by the Wall Street Journal, City agencies plan to offer parenting classes at homeless shelters and at public hospitals as well as publishing a guide to city services available to fathers.

This comes as great news to all of the child advocates in New York City.

Mayor Bloomberg told news sources that "Strong families make a strong New York. But too many children in this city are growing up without their fathers." The administration reports that 32 percent of all children under 17 in New York City grow up in a fatherless household.

Read more of the story here

A View From A Bully's Parent

2010-06-14T14:31:00.000-04:00

We asked mom Maggie Vink to give us her view as a bully’s parent in hopes that it will spur other parents to get help for their kids who are bullies.

     The inner Mama Bear. I think all parents have that desire to stand up and protect their kids when they’re being hurt or wronged in any way. But while it is a parent’s job to advocate for and protect our children, if we’re not honest about our kid’s behavior we’re missing a great opportunity for education.

     I adopted my son just before he started fourth grade. Soon after starting school, he came home with stories about this kid or that kid being mean to him. My inner Mama Bear was riled but — being a newbie parent — I wasn’t sure exactly what to do about it. Should I call the school? Call the other parents? While I hesitated on the best way to support my son, I did talk to him about how to handle the situation — I suggested ignoring it, playing with different kids, or telling an adult. What I didn’t do, was pause and question whether the story my son was telling me was the whole truth.

     One day I had the opportunity to go to my son’s school and watch the kids playing on the playground. Just sitting back and watching your child interact with a group is something all parents should do from time to time. What I saw surprised me… and not in a good way. My son was continuously being unfair or downright mean to other kids. He was literally pushing and shoving kids in order to be first in line. When playing basketball, he’d hog the ball and never pass it to teammates even when there was no way for him to get a shot. He would boot others out of the pitching position in kickball and then wouldn’t give up the position long after it should have been someone else’s turn. While he never called any other kids names or said mean things, he was clearly ignoring the needs and wants of other kids in order to get his own way. What’s more, he was joyfully playing and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was hurting the others’ feelings.

    While I believed his behavior to be unintentional and I knew he didn’t have any desire to hurt others, my son was being selfish. He was being unkind. He was being a bully.

    My son spent his first ten years in complete inconsistency, bouncing from home to home in the foster care system. While he was blessed to have several good foster homes, each had a different set of rules, each had different levels of involvement in his life, and he switched schools with each move he made. What’s more, when he was very young and still with his birth family, my son had had literally no exposure to other children and no opportunity to develop social skills.

    I immediately began working on social skills with my son. We talked about being a good friend and I’d make sure he treated me fairly when we were playing board games or kicking a soccer ball around in the backyard. I also watched all of my son’s soccer practices and would later discuss situations with him — trying to show him how other kids felt when he rudely stepped in front of them in order to be the first in a drill.

    My son was still having a difficult time seeing how his behavior could hurt others, yet he was acutely aware of how they could make him feel. It wasn’t long before his behavior on the school playground started to annoy and frustrate other kids. One group of boys in particular started making a daily habit of following my son around and quietly taunting him. They’d tease him, call him names, and encourage the other kids to exclude my son from play. My son had gone from being the bully to being bullied.

   My son’s school had a zero tolerance policy on bullying. While I believe the system to be good in theory, it’s unfortunately flawed. When the other boys would taunt and tease my son, my quick-to-anger child would fight back loudly and without concern of being caught. Subsequently, my son would get in trouble and the boys who repeatedly teased him would get off with no consequences at all.

   I could have just let the inner Mama Bear in me out. I could have fought with the school, denying that my maligned child deserved any consequences and arguing that the other kids were the real ones who needed punishment. I could have seen my son as completely innocent in the situation. But that would have done my son no good whatsoever.

   It was my job to talk to the school, accept the appropriate consequences my son was given, and to try to make sure that all kids involved were given consequences . And it was also my job to recognize that my son had a played a significant role in his playground woes and to help him overcome it.

   Bullying isn’t always clear cut. It’s not necessarily that “bad kids” are bullies and “good, innocent kids” are bullied. Sometimes it’s just low self esteem, poor social skills, or previous hurts that lead a child to act like a bully.

   Instead of letting my inner Mama Bear take over, I took a proactive stance. I enrolled my son in a bullying/social skills class at his therapy clinic, friendship skills became a frequent topic with his therapist, I invited other kids over to our house for one-on-one playtime that I could observe, I worked closely with my son’s teacher, I watched my son’s sports practices and games, and how to “think like a friend” became an ongoing lesson in our house. I also worked with my son on developing empathy and taught him how to read body language.

My son doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. When he started to understand how his behavior made other kids feel is when his behavior started to improve. My son has been with me for several years now — he’s lived with me longer than he ever lived with any one foster home. His social behavior has improved by leaps and bounds, but it continues to be a work in progress. He still likes to be first in line for everything and has to fight down that urge. He still wants to be quarterback or pitcher or goalie and has to actively remember to give other kids a turn. And he has to work hard to control his angry reactions when other kids aren’t very nice to him. But he’s more generous now, he pays attention to other’s feelings, and he’s more fair when playing. He now has a large group of great kids he can truly call friends — had his social skills not improved, I sincerely doubt that he would have these friends.

It’s extremely hard as a parent to admit that your child can be a bully. But how can we help our kids if we aren’t honest about their behavior? My son isn’t a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination. But if I had simply fought to protect him when the other kids were teasing and excluding him, I would have missed the root of the problem. I would have missed the opportunity to teach my son how to be a better friend. And my son would have missed out on the opportunity to have real, non-combative friendships like he enjoys today.

What to do if your child is a bully

Are supermarket carts safe for your kids?

2010-06-13T15:56:00.000-04:00

Last week a New York City mom was checking out her local supermarket and looked down to see her toddler’s leg stuck in the narrowest bar of the shopping cart. Her daughter’s leg was completely stuck.

While the toddler cried the mom tried to remain calm by slowly slipping her leg back out, but it wouldn’t move. The checkout lady, manager and security all came to their rescue to no avail. Someone cried “get the Crisco oil”, another yelled “don’t touch it” and someone yelled “call 911.”

The poor mom was panic stricken and screamed for someone to get a cutter which is used to cut large metal bike locks.

Someone came to the rescues with the metal cutters but the frantic mom couldn’t help but think “Do it and don’t miss” and prayed her daughter’s leg or ankle would not be broken.

Soon the little girl was free with only a few scratches and bruises.

Read more of the story here

Teen Pregnancy and How to Prevent It

2010-06-05T16:44:00.000-04:00

We have all heard the expression "kids don't come with instructions" and it's so true -- they don't.

And when teens become parents they are not emotionally mature enough to handle parenthood.

How is a parent to know if their teens are sexually active? If they are ... are they taking precautions?

Parents can learn The Real Truth about Teens and Sex by Sabrina Weil, President of Weill Media and former Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen Magazine.

The results are revealed for the first time in The Real Truth about Teens and Sex. This book is a great tool for parents to learn about their teens sexual activity and how to keep them from becoming teen parents.

Although teen pregnancy has been on the decline over the past decade, more and more teens are having sex.

According to facts at http://www.stayteen.org/ three out of ten teenage girls in the United States get pregnant at least one before age 20 -- that amounts to 745,000 teen pregnancies each year.

The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world -- twice as high as in England or Canada and eight times as high as in the Netherlands or Japan.

Click here to read more of the story

Bullying continues to take lives. When will it stop?

2010-06-04T18:21:00.000-04:00

Scott Walz should be celebrating his high school graduation from Johnsburg High School in McHenry County, IL.

He can’t. Scott took his life this past March 4th as a result of years of being bullied. His family says the school didn’t do enough to stop it.

Sadly this is not a surprise. Most schools don’t do enough. Some do nothing. The victims endure torment and pain.

Scott’s mom told CBS news that Scott was quiet and shy. He had a black belt in Karate but never fought back – even after nine years of being bullied. He was even beaten up and choked to the point of passing out.

Bullying and cyberbullying hurt. The pain can be devastating!

And this past Monday on Memorial Day, Christian Taylor, a 16-year-old freshman at Grafton High School in Yorktown, Va., took his own life after reportedly enduring months of relentless bullying.

Scott Walz (Illinois), Christian Taylor (Virginia), Alexis Pilkington (New York), Phoebe Prince (Massachusetts), Celina Okwuone and Hope Witsell (Florida), Ryan Halligan (Vermont) and all of the others who took their lives were tormented on a daily basis. But they might be here today if their schools had listened – if they took a stand against all forms of bullying.

Read more of the story here

The baby is coming …Dr. Jeff Gardere educates young fathers to be on VH1 “Dad Camp”

2010-05-30T16:02:00.001-04:00

According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute in New York, nationally, nearly one million young women under age 20 become pregnant each year. That means close to 2800 women get pregnant each day.

Where are the fathers?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (65%) African American children live in father-absent homes. Over 1 in 3 (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes.

Last year, President Obama challenged young men to step up as fathers, urging them to recognize that their “responsibility does not end at conception.”

VH1 and Dr. Jeff Gardere are coming to the rescue with their new show “Dad Camp.”

Dr. Jeff Gardere is a licensed psychologist and national relationship expert in New York City who prepares six young twenty-something young men for fatherhood in this VH1 eight-episode series.

Here the young fathers will face reality: A baby is on the way! Through parenting classes, personal challenges and powerful couple and group therapy, these young couples will learn about responsibility and the dedication, commitment and importance of selflessness that they must make to their children ... because it's the right thing to do and because fatherhood can be a positive and rewarding experience.

In each episode, Dr. Jeff offers intensive parenting lessons and challenges to prepare these young men for fatherhood. They’ll learn about parental nurturing, conquering their fears and commitment.

"Dad Camp’s” goal is to educate these young men and turn them into responsible fathers, when they’d much rather be out with their friends and other young women, spend time playing video games, drinking, using drugs, etc.

Dad Camp also addresses many of today’s societal issues, including the importance of male role models, absent fathers and the struggles of being a young parent.

The degree of risk to children of very young parents may be determined by the financial, social, and emotional stresses these families face. Yet, few participate in parenting education.

Click here to read more of the article

Silly bandz banned by schools and could even be harmful to kids’ health according to doctors

2010-05-27T10:44:00.001-04:00

Silly bandz banned by schools and could even be harmful to kids’ health according to doctors

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Congress Working to Ban Drop-Side Cribs

2010-05-23T10:42:00.002-04:00

According to the Associated Press, New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand is preparing legislation to ban the manufacture, sale and resale of all drop-side cribs, as well as ban them from day-care centers and hotels. Gillibrand hopes the legislation that will be introduced this week, will accelerate efforts for a ban, either via Congress or the Consumer Product Safety Commission, and draw concerns to parents who are using them drop-side cribs.

Senator Gillibrand is pushing this because 6-month-old Bobby Cirigliano of North Bellmore, NY died as a result of his drop-side crib. The side rail on his drop-side crib slid off the tracks and trapped his head and neck between the mattress and the malfunctioning side rail. His face pressed against the mattress. Sadly he suffocated.

Bobby was one of at least 32 infants and toddlers since 2000 who suffocated or were strangled in a drop-side crib, which has a side that moves up and down to allow parents to lift children from the cribs more easily than cribs with fixed sides. Drop-sides, which have been around for decades and used by many of today's parents, are suspected in an additional 14 infant fatalities during that time.

CPSC which regulates cribs, has warned about the problem. Its chairman, Inez Tenenbaum, has pledged to ban the manufacture and sale of cribs by the end of the year with a new performance standard that would make fixed-side cribs mandatory. It could be several months into 2011 before becoming effective.

The industry has already started phasing out drop-sides and big retailers such as Babies R Us and Wal-Mart have taken them off sale floors. However with Internet, many of these cribs are still for sale online, giving cause for Congress to get involved.

Senator Giilbrand said "There's a great urgency here. We have to make sure that no parent is unaware that drop-side cribs could kill their children. There still are thousands and thousands of children who are sleeping every night in drop-side cribs and we need to protect them.”

The Senator will outline her bill today in a news conference joined by Bobby Cirigliano's parents and the family of 10-month-old Tyler Witte, who died in a drop-side crib in 1997.

Read more about this story here
Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association
CPSC crib information
House Energy and Commerce Committee Hearing

Long Island teens accused of plotting high school massacre

2010-05-07T20:22:00.001-04:00

Long Island teens accused of plotting high school massacre

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Celebrating mothers who make a difference

2010-05-07T17:56:00.001-04:00

Celebrating mothers who make a difference

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Landmark anti-bullying legislation is signed into law

2010-05-04T14:21:00.001-04:00

Landmark anti-bullying legislation is signed into law

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Phoebe's legacy … Massachusetts votes on bill that prohibits kids from being bullied at school

2010-04-29T16:56:00.001-04:00

Phoebe's legacy … Massachusetts votes on bill that prohibits kids from being bullied at school

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Calling for an end to bullying and cyberbullying!

2010-04-26T14:59:00.001-04:00

Calling for an end to bullying and cyberbullying!

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National love our children day - celebrating America's children

2010-04-06T14:23:00.001-04:00

National love our children day - celebrating America's children

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Part Two - Keeping kids and teens safe from sexual predators

2010-04-04T17:24:00.001-04:00

Part Two - Keeping kids and teens safe from sexual predators

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Part One -- Rochester Internet predator caught on Amtrak train with 13-year-old Long Island girl

2010-04-04T17:10:00.001-04:00

Part One -- Rochester Internet predator caught on Amtrak train with 13-year-old Long Island girl

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UPDATE: 12-year-old Queens student arrested for doodling on desk sues city for excessive force

2010-04-03T16:50:00.001-04:00

UPDATE: 12-year-old Queens student arrested for doodling on desk sues city for excessive force

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UPDATE: Long Island lawyer arrested in adoption scam offered plea deal

2010-04-03T16:06:00.001-04:00

UPDATE: Long Island lawyer arrested in adoption scam offered plea deal

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Positive parenting

2010-04-01T11:57:00.001-04:00

Positive parenting

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April is national child abuse prevention month …get blue!

2010-04-01T11:13:00.001-04:00

April is national child abuse prevention month …get blue!

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What will it take to stop bullying and cyberbullying sucides?

2010-03-31T17:18:00.001-04:00

What will it take to stop bullying and cyberbullying sucides?

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9 teens indicted as a result of bullying Phoebe Prince to suicide

2010-03-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

9 teens indicted as a result of bullying Phoebe Prince to suicide

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Tips about cyberbullying prevention

2010-03-29T11:39:00.001-04:00

Tips about cyberbullying prevention

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The suicide bullying connection

2010-03-25T13:08:00.001-04:00

The suicide bullying connection

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Long Island teen commits suicide. Is cyberbullying to blame?

2010-03-25T11:51:00.001-04:00

Long Island teen commits suicide. Is cyberbullying to blame?

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‘Text rage’ leads to attempted murder charges of ninth grader

2010-03-20T17:54:00.001-04:00

‘Text rage’ leads to attempted murder charges of ninth grader

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Newest recall about to be announced ...Baby slings

2010-03-11T14:03:00.001-05:00

Newest recall about to be announced ...Baby slings

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Moms who cyberbully

2010-03-09T15:50:00.001-05:00

Moms who cyberbully

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Teen ‘pharm’ or ‘pharming’parties --- aka ‘punch bowl parties.’

2010-03-03T18:14:00.001-05:00

Teen ‘pharm’ or ‘pharming’parties --- aka ‘punch bowl parties.’

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Chatroulette …The newest go-to site for kids and teens and not recommended

2010-03-03T16:49:00.001-05:00

Chatroulette …The newest go-to site for kids and teens and not recommended

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Getting help: Spot depression and look for suicidal signs in your child

2010-03-02T14:26:00.001-05:00

Getting help: Spot depression and look for suicidal signs in your child

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Famous children’s producer Kenn Viselman will have kids jumping out of their seats with new project

2010-02-28T12:21:00.001-05:00

Famous children’s producer Kenn Viselman will have kids jumping out of their seats with new project

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Phoebe Prince’s bullies expelled from South Hadley High School

2010-02-27T16:54:00.001-05:00

Phoebe Prince’s bullies expelled from South Hadley High School

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Child molester super ousted from Manhattan apartment buildings

2010-02-27T12:17:00.001-05:00

Child molester super ousted from Manhattan apartment buildings

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"To Save A Life" the movie. It's about choices. What's yours?

2010-01-30T10:55:00.009-05:00

Are you a kid or teen who is depressed?

There is help!

You have choices and it's all about the choices you make! Whatever is hurting you so bad that you would even think of suicide has a solution. And that's NOT suicide.

Suicide is NEVER the answer. It ends all of your dreams, it's permanent -- you can't take it back, it hurts the people who love you --- and it doesn't solve the problem that's hurting you!

While Love Our Children USA and STOMP Out Bullying does not endorse any particular religious organization or group, we encourage you to see the movie "To Save A Life" and then spread the word!

It can save your life, it can save the life of someone you know. It's up to all of us to help!

An all-star athlete and his girlfriend find their lives spinning out of control when Jake loses a childhood friend. Help comes when he reaches out to others who are hurting, and he realizes some people are just dying to be heard.
The movie asks...

How far would you go?

How much would you risk?

How hard would you fight...TO SAVE A LIFE

See the movie TO SAVE A LIFE in theaters near you.

Visit http://www.stompoutbullying.org/ and remember -- you can save a life --- you can save your life!

Talking To Kids How To Cope With The Earthquake in Haiti

2010-01-16T09:47:00.001-05:00

It is heartbreaking to hear about the devastating earthquake in Haiti. At Love Our Children USA our hearts go out to everyone who has been so tragically impacted by this unspeakable disaster.

Natural disasters can be especially traumatic for children of all ages. Experiencing a devastating earthquake, a dangerous or violent flood or any violent act of mother nature is frightening even for adults -- and the devastation children and teens hear and read about can be long lasting and upsetting.

When an entire community is impacted, it undermines a child’s sense of security and normalcy. Many unique issues and coping challenges must be presented, including issues associated with specific types of natural disasters ... where will people relcoate to when their home and/or community have been destroyed, what happens to their family and friends, and a myriad opf questions. It is up to parents to lessen the trauma for kids in a way that they can handle their emotional reactions and coping techniques.

Children look to the adults in their lives for guidance on how to manage their reactions after the immediate threat is over.

Always reassure your children that they are safe. Teach kids that earthquakes are a part of nature and can be unpredictable.

Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can help children and youth cope in the aftermath of a natural disaster by remaining calm and reassuring children that they will be all right. Immediate response efforts should emphasize teaching effective coping strategies, fostering supportive relationships, and helping children understand the situation and their reactions.

Schools can help play an important role is in this process by providing a stable and familiar environment. Through the support of caring school personnel, kids can return to normal activities and routines (to the extent possible), and be presented with an opportunity to change a frightening event into a learning experience -- even a fundraising experience.

For older kids, this can be a good opportunity to help them turn a passive viewing experience into one where they funnel the emotions from some disturbing media images into positive action. This can be done by helping to raise money through local organizations.

Don't let kids under seven watch the news. Turn off the TV and radio news. Read the newspaper out of range so that kids can't be frightened by the pictures. Children this young don’t need to see or hear about something that will only scare them. Should you choose to discuss the tragedy with your kids, try to anticipate their questions and come up with honest but age- appropriate answers.

Read more at Love Our Children USA's web site and on my Examiner.com article at http://bit.ly/8h0wn9

Putting An End To School Violence

2009-10-11T10:18:00.000-04:00

As we near the end of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week (October 4th -10th)I am pleased that so many have responded to our STOMP Out Bullying campaign and BLUE SHIRT Day. Since its launch in October, 2008, over 54,000 kids and parents have made the commitment to STOMP Out Bullying. And people across the country wore blue shirts to work and to school. Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego was a sea of blue as almost 2600 kids wore blue shirts to STOMP Out Bullying. But there’s a lot more work to do to keep our kids safe.

It is heartbreaking to hear about the fatal beating of Derrion Albert in Chicago, the attack of a 14 year-old boy in New Jersey who suffered from multiple fractures by three 16 year-old boys who kicked and stomped him, and the 12-year-old boy on Coral Springs, FL who faces first-degree murder charges after allegedly stabbing a 13-year-old boy in the back with a kitchen knife. All of this since school began one month ago.

Violent behavior that robs our children of their childhood, education and at times their lives, and continues a cycle of violence is not acceptable. Parents can no longer live in denial when their children are accused of violent behavior and schools can no longer sweep this issue under the rug, as they’ve been doing this for far too long.

According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resources Center, over 5.7 million children in the U.S. are involved in bullying either as a victim or culprit –or both. That’s 30% of school kids.

A new CCRC survey finds that U.S. children are routinely exposed to even more violence and abuse than has previously been recognized, with nearly half experiencing a physical assault in the study year.

The survey findings conclude that:
• More than 60 percent of the children surveyed were exposed to violence within the past year, either directly or indirectly.
• Nearly one-half of the children and adolescents surveyed were assaulted at least once in the past year, and more than 1 in 10 were injured as a result.
• Nearly one-quarter of the respondents were the victim of a robbery, vandalism, or theft.
• One-tenth of respondents were victims of child maltreatment (including physical and emotional abuse, neglect, or a family abduction), and 1 in 16 were victimized sexually.

Violence against children has become a national crisis. It's not just in Chicago, New Jersey or Miami-Dade, it's all over the country. While schools have been sweeping this issue under the rug far too long, they must enforce policies and educate students on this subject. Schools must introduce violence prevention which covers bullying and cyberbullying into their curriculum – insisting that parents participate in school committees to understand the curriculum and bring it into their homes and communities.

And for parents who live in denial saying “My child would never harm anyone” or worse take a “so what” attitude, think again. Kids learn these behaviors at home. Whether it’s a parent who is violent, to a parent who handles conflict in an angry and negative way, a parent who is full of hatred or to a parent who just doesn’t have the time to be involved in their children’s lives … this is learned behavior. What is learned can be unlearned.

Ultimately it's up to the students to stop the violence and create violence-free communities in their schools and neighborhoods. But they need the support of their schools and families.

So very often people make comments such as “the kids need to toughen up” or think the violence only happens in poor neighborhoods. Not true! School violence is no longer a right of passage. Our kids are living in a very different world than we did and with the Internet and our youth not understanding the consequences of their behavior, it’s a real problem. Kids think it’s fun to beat someone up and place the video of it on YouTube. And, violence does not discriminate. It can occur in poor, middle income and wealthy neighborhoods.

It’s time for parents and schools to work together, introduce violence prevention curriculum into all schools across the country and empower our kids to say ENOUGH! No more violence at school or in our communities.

President Obama's Speech To Kids As They Return To School

2009-09-07T16:58:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of controversy about the speech that President Obama is giving to school children tomorrow.

There are many people up in arms. Some parents are pulling their kids out of school so they don't see or hear the speech, and some schools are refusing to show it.

Has everyone lost their minds? What do they think the President is going to say to our children?

President Obama is clearly a champion of giving kids a good education and offering them a future. After reading the letter that he openly wrote to his daughters earlier this year in Parade Magazine, I can only imagine that he will be a cheerleader for our kids to study hard and stay in school so that they can be anything they want to be. Last time I checked there was nothing wrong with that.

Could these parents and schools be anti-education? Could they be denying our kids a future? Or is it a partisan issue?

No matter who you voted for, no matter what race you are -- this is the President of the United States and he cares about our kids' education!

It behooves every parent to send their kids to school tomorrow and let them hear the speech, and it behooves every school to air the speech.

Frankly, I cannot think of anything more inspiring than the President of the United States telling kids to study hard and stay in school so that they can be whatever they want to be in life!

It certainly would have inspired me when I was a kid!

Click Here to Read President Obama's Remarks

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
Love Our Children USA

BLUE SHIRT DAY October 5th To STOMP Out Bullying

2009-08-31T13:02:00.001-04:00

To signify the importance of National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week (october 4th - 10th), on Monday, October 5th, we are asking kids, teens and adults across the nation to participate in BLUE SHIRT DAY by wearing a blue shirt to STOMP Out Bullying.

Love Our Children USA created this day and chose the color blue because in many diverse cultures blue brings peace.The color conveys importance and confidence.
On Monday, October 5th, Americans across the country will wear blue shirts as they make their way to school or to the office in support of this new annual grassroots national campaign to STOMP Out Bullying.

You can order Blue Shirts from Love Our Children USA or wear your own. The most important thing is to wear a BLUE SHIRT on OCTOBER 5th to school, to work, everywhere --- to show support of bullying and cyberbullying prevention and to STOMP Out Bullying!

Please join this grassroots effort. Someone you know could be bullied. Someone you know might be a bully.

Spread the word – in schools, communities, at work, on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter – tell everyone you know -- friends, family, neighbors, colleagues -- to wear a BLUE Shirt on Monday, October 5th. Let’s put an end to bullying and STOMP it out across the nation! Let's keep America's kids and teens safe at school and in their communities.

www.stompoutbullying.org

Love Our Children USA And Barclays ...Tickets Fore Charity

2009-06-13T12:17:00.000-04:00

If you love golf and are passionate about keeping children safe, please support Love Our Children USA by purchasing tickets to the Barclays Golf Tournament at Liberty National Center, Jersey City, NJ from August 27th - August 30th.

See your favorite pros! All you need to do is purchase tickets is click here and use the code LOC !

More Cases OF Child Abuse In Times Of Overwhelm

2009-03-15T18:43:00.000-04:00

More child abuse reports now? YES!

Parents and child caregivers are stressed and overwhelmed from the economy.

Overwhelmed parents and caregivers find it difficult to handle the stress. So when the kids scream and want a new toy or act out, parents take it out on their kids. We saw it with Hurricane Katrina, 9-11 and every other disaster. This is a time when many parents are at their breaking point.

As we face difficult times it is imperative that we do not overlook our children who are react to their parent’s overwhelm and stress. And we must not overlook our children who are at risk and peril on a daily basis … and at even greater risk in times of stress.

No family is without stress and overwhelm today. But even in these difficult times, we must remember:

· Understand the problem
Child abuse and neglect affect children of all ages, races, and incomes. Over 3 million children are victimized each year and those are only the ones that are reported. The actual number is three times greater.

· Understand the various forms
Child Abuse is physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse, shaken baby syndrome, neglect and abandonment, and death.

· Understand the causes
Most parents are loving and nurturing and wouldn’t think of hurting or neglecting their children. Yet some parents were themselves abused or neglected and they continue the cycle. Very young or inexperienced parents will likely not know how to take care of their babies or what they can reasonably expect from children at different stages of development. Extraordinary circumstances that stress families can be poverty, divorce, sickness, disability …which can play a part in child abuse and neglect. Parents who abuse alcohol or other drugs are more likely to abuse or neglect their children.

· Support programs that support families
Parent education, community centers, respite care services, and substance abuse treatment programs help to protect children by addressing circumstances that place families at risk for child abuse and neglect. Donate your time or money, if you can.

· Report suspected abuse and neglect
Some states require everyone to report suspected abuse or neglect; others specify members of certain professions, such as educators and doctors. Regardless of whether you are mandated by law to report child abuse and neglect, doing so could save a child—and a family. If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, call the police, your state child abuse hotline or your local child welfare agency.

· Spread the word
Help educate others in your community about child abuse and neglect. Distribute brochures at your local public library, recreation or community center, government center, church, synagogue, mosque, temple, or other faith institutions, grocery stores, and other public places.

· Strengthen your community
Know your neighbors' names and the names of their children, and make sure they know yours. Give stressed parents a break by offering to watch their children. Volunteer. If you like interacting with children, great, but you do not have to volunteer directly with kids to contribute to prevention. All activities that strengthen communities, such as service to civic clubs and participation on boards and committees, ultimately contribute to the well-being of children.

· Be ready in an emergency
Everyone has witnessed the screaming-child-in-the-supermarket scenario. Most parents take the typical tantrum in stride. But what if you witness a scene—in the supermarket or anywhere else—where you believe a child is being, or is about to be, physically or verbally abused?

Responding in these circumstances technically moves beyond prevention to intervention, and intervention is best handled by professionals. Still, if you find yourself in a situation where you believe a child is being or will be abused at that moment, you can help the situation by calmly approach the parent and offering the following:

· “I guess their right when they say parents need a lot of patience.” “It looks like you’ve both had a very long day.”
· Ask if you can help in any way — Can you carry some packages? Play with an older child so the baby can be fed or changed? Call someone on your cell phone?
· If you see a child alone in a public place—for example, unattended in a grocery cart—stay with the child until the parent returns.

Love Shouldn't Hurt

2009-03-15T10:30:00.000-04:00

Recently the media has reported the story of Chris Brown beating his girlfriend Rihanna.

Dating violence affects about one in ten teen couples. Teenagers can often misinterpret abusive and violent behavior as a show of love. Hitting, yelling, threatening, name calling, and using and hurting you sexually isn't love!

Media reports also indicate that Rihanna has gone back to Chris Brown. Once a guy hits a girl or worse, it is important to know that no matter how sorry they are, and no matter how times they swear they'll never do this again, it's not true.

When someone is violent it's learned behavior. That's what's what they learned while growing up. They believe they won't do it again ... but they will because that's all they know.

Read more about Teen Dating Violence and how to stay safe here and remember ... LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT!!!

National Love Our Children Day Goes On The Road With Soap Stars

2009-03-08T12:47:00.000-04:00

The Sixth Annual Love Our Children Day Goes On The Road For an Entire Weekend of Family Fun!

This year Love Our Children USA is doing something different for National Love Our Children Day (our initiative.) Through the generosity of soap stars ...

ALL MY CHILDREN Jacob Young (JR) Chrishell Strause (Amanda)
AS THE WORLD TURNS Billy Magnusson (Casey)
GUIDING LIGHTKim Zimmer (Reva) Caitlin VanZandt (Ashlee)Robert Newman (Josh)
ONE LIFE TO LIVEIlene Kristen (Roxy) Mark Lawson (Brody)

... And the Villa Roma Resort in Sullivan County, NY., National Love Our Children Day joins SOAPSTOCK Weekend and will be celebrated in a new location this year!

To learn more about how you and your family can attend this event, visit http://loveourchildrenusa.org/events_locday09.php

FIRST DAD'S MESSAGE OF LOVE

2009-01-15T12:56:00.000-05:00

FIRST DAD'S MESSAGE OF LOVE OBAMA'S LETTER: 'WHAT I WANT FOR YOU & ALL KIDS'

When I read this letter, I thought “Wow!” Not just because Barack Obama is going to be our president next week, but look at the love! Feel the hope!

I always speak and write about parents nurturing and loving their children. And one does not have to be a president to do this. Loving children, yours and other people’s takes compassion, and a deep caring for our most innocent – our children.

And you don’t have to be a parent to nurture and love children. Many single people or couples without children can show the same compassion, love and nurturing that President Elect Obama shows and feels. WHY? Because if we don’t, what will our future look like in 10 or 20 years?

If we don’t, we might be looking at a generation of adults who didn’t have a good education and can barely earn a living. Or a generation of adults who are criminals or substance abusers, or child and spousal abusers. Or a generation of adults who are filled with hatred for their fellow man because that’s what they were taught by their role models. Or… sadly, a generation of adults who continue the cycle of how badly there were treated.

Certainly none of these scenarios would have challenged these adults as children, nor would they have been inspired to do better or to create a safe and prejudice-free world. None of these scenarios would bring us future leaders and people who give back.

To love and nurture children and want the very best for them, you can be an ordinary parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent, neighbor or friend. You can challenge and inspire them, and instill in them self-esteem and confidence, so that they can strive to be anything –even President of the United States. It just takes love, nurturing and respect.

If you need help, ask someone. Take parenting classes. Contact Love Our Children USA.

If President Elect Obama’s letter of love and hope for his children and all children hasn’t challenged and inspired every parent in the U.S.to be the best and most loving parents they can be, then it’s a sad time for the future of our children, their children, and future generations.

Why not write a letter of love to your children – today? Give your children hope for their future.

You can read the First Dad's Message of Love this Sunday in Parade Magazine or click here to view at Parade online.

Ross Ellis
Founder and Chief Executive Officer
Love Our Children USA

Renew America With A Day of Service January 19, 2009

2009-01-12T18:23:00.000-05:00

Ordinary people living ordinary lives is all it takes to make things happen in your community. President-Elect and Michelle Obama are asking the country to volunteer and renew America on Monday, January 19th … One Single Day of Service.

It can be handing out flyers about bullying prevention which has reached epidemic proportions, mentoring a child, cleaning up parks, volunteering at a homeless shelter, serving food to the hungry … or anything that will help those less fortunate.

Contact Love Our Children USA if you want to hand out flyers on Bullying Prevention or visit USA Call To Service to find an opportunity in your area.

No matter what you do, you will helping to renew the USA, offering help and hope. Please join the Obamas and Love Our Children USA! Make it a day of service… a day of caring … a day of renewal!

Positive Parenting

2009-01-12T18:21:00.000-05:00

Knowing that the world we live in today is very different, Love Our Children USA recognizes that we must redefine parenting.No one is a perfect parent and there is no magical way to raise children. And we know kids can be challenging!Parenthood and caring for a child is a gift bestowed upon us which comes with the greatest responsibility and pledge … to guarantee the safety, nurturing, loving environment and physical and emotional wellness of our children … for ALL children!Anyone and everyone can learn good parenting skills. Even parents who are overwhelmed, or alone. The first three years of your child’s life are crucial. Those are the years that your child will develop significant intellectual, emotional and social abilities. That’s when they learn to give and accept love. They learn confidence, security, and empathy … they learn to be curious and persistent …everything your child needs to learn to relate well to others, and lead a happy and productive life. The first three years are the doorway to forever!Positive Parenting Means:- Treating Kids With Respect, Kindness and Compassion- Showing your love – Nurture your children and tell them every day "I love you. You're special." Give lots of hugs and kisses.- Understanding- Negotiation- Listening to your children tells them that you think they're important and that you're interested in what they have to say.- Giving Praise and Encouragement - When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you're so proud of them. Criticize the behavior, not the child. Teaching your child to do the right things is better than constantly punishing bad behavior.- Reinforcing Positive Behavior- Providing order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.- Setting Boundaries- Make Your Children Feel Protected. Comfort them when they're scared. Show them you've taken steps to protect them and keep them safe.- Reflecting on Our Parent Role Models- Helping Kids Find Solutions to Their Own Problems- Building Children's Self-Esteem- Teaching Kids How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry, Anger, Peer Pressure, Bullying, etc .- Spending Time With Your Children. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. They usebad behavior as a way of getting your attention.- Being Consistent and firm in enforcing rules and explaining the reasons for the rules in words your child can understand. Consistent means the rules are the same all the time. If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules.Do you feel like you need help?You can contact Love Our Children USA for parenting classes in your area, sign up for parenting classes offered by hospitals, community centers or schools. Read parenting books or magazines. Talk to your pediatrician, family doctor, a minister, a priest or a counselor. Don't be embarrassed to ask for parenting help. Raising children is not easy and no one can do it alone. Your doctor can also help you find local groups that can help you learn better parenting skills.To receive Love Our Children USA’s newsletters and updates visit www.loveourchildrenusa.org

2009-01-12T17:03:00.000-05:00

Continuing the Cycle of Love and Nurturing
When a child pushes a parent’s buttons or misbehaves, sometimes all a parent can do is to lose their temper or speak harshly to their child. And sometimes …a parent treats their child the way they were treated …with anger and violence – continuing the cycle. Today, parents are more sophisticated than they were 20 or 30 years ago. And they’re busier and overwhelmed. By continuing the cycle of how our parents treated us when we were children isn’t necessarily positive parenting. That doesn’t always mean our parents were bad parents –it might mean they were continuing the cycle of how they were treated. It’s time to break the cycle today! Whether you’re a parent who is over-whelmed or one who is continuing the cycle … think back to your childhood. How were you treated?Did you live in a loving home? Or did you live in an angry and violent home?If you lived in a loving home, then you will want to continue that cycle with your children.If you lived in an angry and violent home, you remember what growing up was like. It was sad, lonely and frightening.Is that the kind of home you want your child to grow up in?By loving and nurturing your children and treating them with kindness, respect and understanding, you are ending an old cycle and beginning a new one.You CAN stop the violence, anger and neglect BEFORE it ever starts!Take a deep breath, count to ten, seek help through anger management and parenting classes or consult with a psychologist. The caring, compassion, love and respect you show your children will make such a difference in your relationship with your children and you -- and your entire family. Children understand positive behaviors.Become a parent who loves and nurtures your child enough to grow up to become a happy and healthy adult who continues that cycle!What a wonderful gift to give your children ... and their children, and theirs, and theirs, and theirs ... etc!If you need help or resources to break the cycle of anger and violence and begin a new cycle of love and nurturing, please contact Love Our Children USA.